I am sorry that you had to go through the lesson of losing your husband, I hope that you learned the lessons that experience provided.

As for the hole in the middle of your stomach that was oozing…I believe that is a Solar Plexis chakra issue. As you were losing your husband, you were also losing your power, your control, and your freedom. If you think about it, when when someone talks about taking a major loss of any kind they talk about it being like being punched in the gut. That is exactly where the solar plexis is. We also wrap our arms around that area when we are not feeling secure, as a form of protecting that part of us.

How do you strengthen that chakra? Wear yellow - it can just be a yellow scarf, you don’t have to look like Big Bird. Meditate on the color yellow and ’see’ it filling up that chakra. You can also use any of the yellow stones - citrine is a good one - either to carry in your pocket, or wear as jewelry.

Remember that you are in control of you. You decide how you are going to react, and how you are going to let any experience affect you. That is all good news. You are probably thinking that this is easy for me to say, and very difficult to do. It is, but I do speak from experience. I have been through many difficult experiences in my life - including the breakup of a marriage - and I know that what I say is true. Decide how you want to act, and you will not lose control and just react. One day at a time, one minute at a time. Make your decision, and fake it until you feel it. The more you tell yourself that you are fine, and in control, the more that your unconscious mind will hear it and will believe that it is the truth. Then the unconscious mind makes it a reality - you are find and in control.

I hope that this has been helpful. If you need (or want) more, just ask. In the mean time, you are fine, you are in control, and you make the decisions - even the decisions to let someone else make the decisions.